In this article on how to be a player in your own life and stop being a side character, I share with you some tips drawn from my own experience and from psychology that will help you regain control of your professional and personal life.
Before diving into the tips, I want to remind you that if you would like the support of a life coach to help you progress more quickly with your projects, we are here for you.
I’d now like to move straight on to the tips.
4 Tips to Be the Main Player in Your Life Again
1 – Identify Your Locus of Control
The first tip is to identify your locus of control.
The locus of control is a factor that differentiates people.
More precisely, it is the tendency to think that what happens to us in life depends more on us or on external factors that we cannot control.
In the first case, we talk about an internal locus of control.
In the second case, it is labeled as an external locus of control.
Each person tends to have a dominant locus of control.
This does not mean that people always act according to their locus of control all the time.
But generally, it is an aspect that can condition certain decisions and behaviors.
If you have an external locus of control, you will tend to not feel like the main player in your life.
But this is not something immutable.
Simply becoming aware of your way of thinking and perceiving life is the first step to starting to change.
Practical Tip
From now on, start paying attention to your way of speaking and to your internal dialogue.
Note these elements in a notebook and then question your ideas.
What can you do right now to start changing your behavior?
Don’t make excuses and take action immediately.
Now, let’s move on to the next tip, which is to identify your values.
2 – Identify Your Values
The second tip is to understand what your values are at this point in your life.
This is essential because one of the reasons you might feel like you’re not the main player in your life is a lack of clarity about what is essential or even vital to you.
What are the values that have guided your choices so far?
Do they come from your surroundings, the society you live in, your parents, or your peers?
If you don’t live by what matters most to you, you will always feel like you are not the protagonist of your existence.
Therefore, it is essential to understand your values, rank them by importance, and consider them every time you need to make an important decision.
To delve deeper into this topic, I invite you to read my article on how to identify your values.
Practical Tip
Think about the decisions you have made over the past year.
Then, try to understand the values that guided your choices and actions.
If you realize that you have acted in disagreement with your priorities, start organizing your days according to your values.
Doing this will allow you to start taking the reins of your destiny.
Now, let’s move on to the next tip, which is to use pain to your advantage.
3 – Use Pain to Your Advantage
Pleasure and pain govern our lives.
We can endure them or use them to our advantage.
Think about the consequences of continuing to endure your life.
Feel the pain you will experience if you continue to passively accept events.
What will be the consequences for you and your loved ones if you don’t change?
What contribution will you fail to make to the world if you don’t change your life?
Answering these questions is the beginning of your change, leading you to the life you deserve.
Practical Tip
Identify an aspect of your personal or professional life that you lack the courage to manage.
Think about what scares you regarding this situation.
Evaluate the possible consequences of doing nothing.
Then, imagine all the benefits of starting to change things.
Visualize yourself capable of changing this situation as you wish.
Feel the success from your actions, then make a gesture of your choice when you feel an intense positive emotion.
Now plan an action you will take this week to start regaining control of your life.
4 – Focus on What Depends on You
Becoming the main player in your life requires regaining control over as much as possible that depends on you.
This means learning to set aside situations that are beyond your control.
Sometimes it’s easier to complain than to take the necessary actions for our evolution.
But if you want to change your life for the better, you know the only solution is to take things into your own hands and start taking daily actions.
You can discuss as much as you want, but as you know, one action is worth more than a thousand thoughts.
So, what are you waiting for?
What is your excuse?
What is your blockage that prevents you from moving forward?
Is it real or just the result of overthinking?
Be honest with yourself and start changing one thing at a time.
You are capable of it and you deserve it because a new future awaits you.
Practical Tip
Identify all the aspects of your life that you want to change.
Next to each item, add a percentage indicating the extent to which this situation depends on you.
Then, rank each aspect based on your level of control.
Schedule your priority tasks in your agenda and take action.
Conclusion
In this article, I have offered you 4 practical tips to help you become the main player in your life again.
If you want to benefit from personalized support with a self confidence coach, write to us now using our contact form or call us by phone or WhatsApp at +33 6 69 46 03 79.
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Read this article in other languages
Français : Etre acteur de sa vie : ce que vous devez savoir pour le devenir
Italiano: Come riprendere in mano la propria vita