5 tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others
In this article on how to stop comparing yourself to others, I share with you my tips based on my practice as a confidence coach.
If you are tired of wasting your energy and time because you tend to compare yourself to others all the time, now is the time to discover some useful tips that will help you strengthen your confidence and self-esteem.
Without further ado, here is my first tip.
1 – Strengthen your self-esteem
The lower your self-esteem, the more likely you are to compare yourself to others at work or in your personal life.
Self-esteem refers to a person’s positive or negative evaluation of him or herself, that is, the extent to which a person considers him or herself to be a valuable and competent human being (Coopersmith, 1967).
In a previous article on how to free yourself from the gaze of others, I showed that people who are most affected by the gaze of others are those who have a low level of self-esteem.
If you want to strengthen your self-esteem, you first need to protect it, that is, you need to avoid exposing yourself to situations that can negatively affect your self-esteem.
You should therefore avoid activities that highlight your weaknesses.
For example, avoid spending too much time on social networks. Social networks are virtual places of social comparison.
Instead, you should focus on experiences that allow you to use your strengths.
These strengths can be either your unique qualities, your skills acquired through experience, or a combination of both.
In short, in order to be less influenced by others when evaluating yourself, you need to protect your weaknesses while reinforcing your strengths.
With higher self-esteem, you will be more likely to make evaluations based on your own accomplishments and much less on social comparison with others.
At the same time, with higher self-esteem, you will be more motivated to take action in a more effective way and this will allow you to build self-confidence.
As long as self-confidence is linked to self-esteem, your level of esteem will also grow.
2 – Focus on yourself
You compare yourself to others when you place your attention on your external environment.
On the contrary, you are more self-centered when you direct your focus on what is related to you.
When you find that you start putting your energies on the outside, refocus on yourself.
In order to do this effectively, from now on start comparing you to yourself as you were at a particular time in your life.
Pick an area of your life and think about where you were a year ago or several years ago.
Then assess your current state in that same area.
You can repeat this for all the areas of your life.
Then for each category, jot down your progress and what you would like to improve.
Write down a list of all your progress on a piece of paper or in electronic format and keep it close to you.
When you start to fall back into your old habit of focusing on others, read this list and congratulate yourself.
Keep adding to this list and you will find that you will be less and less likely to evaluate yourself based on other people.
3 – Look for complementarity
You have a greater tendency to compare yourself to others when you constantly interact with people who have skills, characteristics, opinions, personal, professional, or cultural experiences that are close to yours.
It’s okay to spend time with these people because you have more to share with them and you feel good about staying in your routine.
But certain professional or personal circles can also limit you.
That’s why, if you want to evolve, you need to get out of your comfort zone by implementing new habits.
One of these habits is to create more space in your life for complementarity.
This requires you to look for more diversity in the opportunities that come your way but also to become proactive in the choices you make on a daily basis.
Try to expand your professional and personal network by enriching it with people who are different from you in some aspects.
This will have the effect of broadening your vision of life but also significantly reduce your tendency to compare yourself to others.
These more complementary relationships will allow you to create networks in which cooperation will substitute comparison and competition.
Your skills and talents will have more value and interest for the members of these groups that will see you as a partner of their success rather than an opponent.
As a result, you will enjoy a more supportive environment and feel more ready to show your true nature and put aside your social mask.
With this greater opportunity to be yourself, your self-esteem will grow as you enjoy the support of people who truly appreciate you.
4 – Become an observer of your thoughts and actions
The first step to change a behavior is awareness.
The more you are able to observe your thoughts and behaviors, the more likely you are to make an objective assessment of your self-worth.
In a previous article, I talked about the importance of internal dialogue and how it influences our actions.
If you spend some time writing down the thoughts that go through your mind and your internal dialogue, you will be able to identify the beliefs that limit you and those that support you.
But you will equally recognize when you are measuring your worth against other people’s worth.
Another way to become an observer of yourself is to practice meditation or mindfulness.
This practice allows you to expand your understanding of yourself, others, and life more generally.
You become less influenced by your beliefs and those that others try to impose on you.
The practice of meditation helps you to develop a more objective view of your daily life, but it also allows you to better manage your emotions and reduce stress.
Another way to become more aware of your behavior is to take breaks in your day to observe your actions without judgment.
Be curious and just notice when you are acting and when you are reacting to your environment.
Then, identify an aspect of yourself that you would like to change and take some action to start that change.
Following these tips will give you a more complete understanding of your situation.
5 – Set a goal that is important to you
Focusing on an important goal can help you compare yourself less to others.
But it is essential that this goal is truly important to your personal or professional future.
If your goal is important, it will require a lot of attention and physical and mental resources.
In order to achieve it, you will need to dedicate all your thoughts and actions to it.
You can also hire a life coach if you feel the need to be supported by a professional to maximize your chances of success.
Depending on the nature of your goal, you will also need to allocate some of your time to acquire new knowledge and skills.
As you can see, by directing all of your potential to achieve a goal that is important to you, you will have less motivation to compare yourself to other individuals.
To go further on the topic of defining and achieving goals, I recommend you read my article on how to achieve your goals.
Conclusion on how to stop comparing yourself to others
In this article, I have shared with you 5 tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others.
By following these tips, you will be able to evaluate yourself more objectively and appreciate yourself more.
To take advantage of the expertise of a coach, write to us using our contact form, call us at +33 6 69 46 03 79 or contact us on WhatsApp at +33 6 69 46 03 79.
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Français : Comment arrêter de se comparer aux autres
Italiano: Come smettere di paragonarsi agli altri: 5 modi per riuscirci